Zoosk Dating Community

[Anne at Zoosk]

Let's say you are single and have met the person of your dreams. Neither one of you expected to fall so head over heal in love with the other, but when lightening strikes it really strikes and your hearts are on fire!

Now let's say you discover that he or she is married. Their spouse is a great person for whom they care very deeply, but nothing can compare to the passion that the two of you have for eachother.

What would you do?

[Stonebreaker]

There's no way I could cause someone the amount of pain i'd cause if i got between them. Some things are not meant to happen, and there are times where you have to accept that. This would be one of those times...

Besides, starting a relationship as someone's "someone else" might quite possibly be the dumbest thing ever...

and yes, I know I write in ellipsis a lot.

[Cazzy]

NO

[Squirrelygirl]

I did go out with someone who was married. A couple of weeks into this relationship he took me to his house to meet his wife

His wife knew of his shenanigans and didn't think much of it. Pitied the poor woman.

Of course my heart was shattered, but I chalked it up as a bad experience, apologized to his wife and never saw the loser again. He kept calling and coming to my door until I changed my number and charged him with harassment. (restraining order was effective).

No, I wouldn't want to be in the same situation again.

[kimipsble64]

[DrZiz]

I am a married women magnet. But I refuse to be a person who breaks up marriages to I wont go there. Its just not right.

AK

[Bugsy39]

It's not for me to judge what other people do, but personally, I wouldn't go there in a million years. First of all, I've been the wife at home with the baby while my ex-husband was out doing God knows what with God knows who, and I just couldn't bear the thought of putting another woman through that pain - and knowing I was a major part of the cause. And let's face it, men always assume we're stupid and won't find out - but we always know when things aren't right, don't we?!

Aside from any moral dilemma, I know I'm worth more than being anyone's bit on the side. If that's the way he treats his wife, why on earth should I suppose he'd treat me any better? Noooooo way! I'm woman enough for any man

[nicosh]

Three golden rules in life. Trust people until they give you a reason not to (it goes a long way), Respect people - no matter how nasty they are to you, they have problems in their life you might not even be able to imagine and you might just be the one to break that barrier, and finally, Never Harm. Dating someone in a marriage, veen if the spouce doesnt give a damn, then there must be reason they are still together, and if they are not prepared to break that relationshio on their own, then their is a very good chance you would be hurting someone if you were to be there. When someone is married, a huge part of that marriage is trust, and an implied part of the marriage contract is: you and you alone can satisfy my needs - wither they be intellectual, sexual, emotional - people do get mored in sex, i've been a sex counsellor for many years, and a large part of soemone looking elsewhere is sexual - not becuase they are maybe not getting what they want, but they just want something different. if the need is an emotional one, or a intellectual one, then this is waht good friends are for, but always always always comes down to two people not talking and expressing enough with each other. So either your going to hurt someone, and/or your being used. If you dont mind being used, then enter with your eyes open, but never ever hurt soemone.. because in the end you feel it too.

[Soulportal]

A relationship worth having is one where “trust” thrives. Dating a married man already has multiple strikes against it. It screams …

+uncommitted (individual can’t commit to their current matrimony, how will they commit to you?),
+self centered (how much do they care about the people who’s lives they are effecting?),
+thoughtless (who will I hurt doing this, and why would I do this to them?),
+ cheater (marriage is two people not three),
+deceitful (they’re not being honest with their marriage partner, how honest are they being with you?)…

the list can go on but I think I’ve made my point.

What will a person get out of this type of relationship? One can’t expect anything, but heartbreak. If they’re so miserable being married that they need to venture out of the marriage then get a divorce, don’t play head games or play with peoples heart strings. There are way too many single people in the world to have to go after married people (put yourself in their partners shoes). We all want the same things in one way or another; we just have to remember to find those things in their natural state, and not try to mold them into what we want, that hardly ever has promising results.
I’m a firm believer in accepting responsibility for your actions or lack of actions taken. I personally respect myself too much to put myself in that type of a situation, so a firm "NO" I would not date a married man is my answer.

-My two cents in a world full of dollar signs.
Soulportal

[Simon]

nnever